Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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