she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
