so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
