And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
