So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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