just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize