I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize