how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
