Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
