you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
