i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
