I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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