Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
