This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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