no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If i come over, it means nothing
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
