For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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