Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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