I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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