i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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