I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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