I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
