Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
