You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
