I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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