I only kidnapped one of them. chill
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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