She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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