he shaved USA in his pubs
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
