Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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