Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
