He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize