My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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