I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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