I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize