Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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