I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
