she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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