Fuck appropriateness.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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