I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
