Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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