absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
