he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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