Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
