The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it glows. i had to have it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
