she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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