She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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