im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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