Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
