I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
