She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
