In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
