Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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