i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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