brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
