I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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