im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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