Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
