More tranny stories later!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
