id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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