I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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