How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
