I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Alive.
So much puke
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
