Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize