Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ketchup is God's man juice
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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