I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
