So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
