real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
