I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Your mouth is God's brothel.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
