eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
