Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
