i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
