At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
