dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
